I had resolved to having my LOVE lock down. Surviving my last heart-break.. picking up the cracked pieces of my heart off the ground and was privately piecing my tender heart back together. I gave it all.. I kept in mind I couldn't keep myself and keep him too. I gave my love too eagerly. There are things that I can't keep from my mind no matter how much forgiving I do. Nightmares I want to share, the way the clouds moved me yesterday. Instead, keeping it lock down. The blow was hard, I lost something more than love.. lost a friend. Believing that he will always be in my heart, however has no place in my life gives me a temporary peace. Out of the blew as if it had sincerely fell from the sky, this person has galloped into my life, shining brighter, more brave than I could of imagined anyone to be in this day in age. Moreover, his strong feelings, naturally grow in reciprocal. He isn't mine and yet belongs to someone else. HOwever, The journey breaths happy, constant laughter surrounds our every interaction, not to the point of oblivion, just right. I trust and believe him, but it is myself I no longer trust these days. My judgement has been far from what I ever saw myself as.. such a fight exists inside. Trying to understand before being understood. What am I thinking? I distance the belief I was meant to be loved or able to love with a one track mind... are they one in the same. It gets harder and harder to dream these days.. still I press on.